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Tuesday, 24 May 2016

The climb of faith

The climb of faith

I stand on the tips of my two feet and still can’t see the top of this life threatening tree. Rumor has it that when you get to the top your rope snaps and you fall to your... well at least that's what my instructor says. As we walk over to the tree,  the parents are blabbering  on about something called safety, whatever that is. After the deathful wait it is finally my turn. I climb up the creaky old rusty ladder. I wonder how many people have fallen off and if I will be one of its victims.

I put my hand on the first plank.  The nails are bent and looking like they're going to break.  Then my foot goes on to another and I’m off. I got into my final position and slowly lean  back. I say to myself “I’M GONNA DIE.” Then after my great pep talk I let go and suddenly felt the sensation of falling. When I get to the ground, I think to myself that when I’d let someone else down they didn't go that fast, they must be suckers because that was AWESOME!!!! Let's do that again but as soon as I got close Karl shouted “DRY! Back of the line.”

In this piece of writing I was learning to use linking words like: and, also, meanwhile and things like that. We have been using linking words so we can turn the short powerful lines into the descriptive lines but still use the short powerful lines. I think my writing went very well because I had great powerful sentences eg I put my hand on the first plank.  The nails are bent and looking like they're going to break.  I say to myself... My next steps will be to get more punctuation in like speak marks and things like that.


2 comments:

  1. I love it you have yose so many Good words and personification I love how you say. Rumen has it that when you get to the top your ropes snap. It's very cool I love how you I will be one of its victims. it's so good

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  2. This is one of my favourite pieces of writing Jack. I love the way you've added extra thoughts and phrases that let the reader see a little of your character. You've used metaphor very well too: and if I will be one of its victims. Well done, what a fabulous writer you are. Mrs P

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